I was going to title this; “how to live in a confined space with a smelly boy” but that sounded like I was living in a mens prison…
As you may know, I live with my boyfriend in a tiny little studio flat, or ‘crack den’ in central Brighton. I love him and love living with him, but as you can imagine things get stressful sometimes… and so I needed a space to relay my advice for living with a significant other. Also known as having a rant.
Rory and I got together at the end of last year, and as I started staying round more and more, I basically moved in. I started to bring more clothes over, insisting on staying most nights so I was closer to work, and before I knew it, we’d bought a futon together and I was paying rent. It was a gradual thing and never really a “let’s move in together” kind of decision, which I’m aware, is a little weird for some, but it worked for us.
Just to be clear, we don’t live in a flat, it is a bedsit; i.e. one room which contains a bed, kitchen, living room, dining room, and study. So things can get difficult when we’re constantly on top of each other (oi oi). As as you can imagine, one of the biggest problems we face is that we cannot escape each other. When we argue we can’t slam a door or sulk in another room. This means that we usually sulk on opposite sides of the room with headphones in. I sometimes use my laptop and literally hide behind it so I can pretend I am sat in the study in the west wing of the Middleton Mansion. In the case of arguments, the fact that the crack den is so little can actually work to our advantage, with us peeking at each other from across the room and apologising because we’re just being idiots. We can’t hide from each other basically.
The size of the crack den can also be an issue when you accumulate stuff. You may have read my minimalist blog where I decided to become a minimalist for a month. I have managed to continue this minimalist lifestyle quite well and I don’t really have stuff- I like to spend my money on doing things (mainly eating, travelling and getting tattoos) over buying shite… especially clothes due to my boycotting fast fashion. However, Rory recently went into the t shirt making business, meaning that the flat has filled up with a printer, a printing press, a vinyl cutter, and a 4ft box full of t shirts. On top of this there are stickers, packaging, different bits of plastic, vinyl, paper and all sorts of materials that have taken over the home. But I guess that’s what happens when you live with an artist and businessman. Lucky for me, the business is just a side hustle and for the rest of the year, the only mess is my washing up and denim jacket chucked across the futon after a long days graft.
Speaking of the futon, something I’ve learned from moving out in general is to be careful when building flat packed furniture… I tried to build said futon and surprise Rory before he came back from work, but instead built it incorrectly 3 times, taking approximately 5 hours. Now we just accept that one arm of the futon will forever be stuck in bed form.
Finally, I’m sure many couples face the problem of decorating a living space. As I mentioned before, I moved into Rory’s flat, so the flat was obviously decorated by him. And he sees no problem with 3 Liverpool flags, a wall sized Liverpool banner, a framed Gerrard shirt, countless Liverpool stickers, prints and tickets on all of the walls, including the scarf he hung up over a cute polaroid of us. As you can imagine, this has caused difficulties within the relationship… I would argue that it’s our flat and I don’t want my home to look like the bedroom of a 13 year old boy, and he would argue that I haven’t done anything in the way of decorating and I can put up stuff if I want. As with all areas of relationships, compromises have to be met… I can put up prints and cushions and all kinds of stuff if I want, I just haven’t… And I’ve moved into his flat so obviously he has his decorated it how he likes… Over the summer we hope to revamp the crack den into a lovely home for us both. Pics to hopefully follow.
So yeah, in conclusion, living in a little room with another person can be a struggle sometimes, but you have to make it work for the both of you. And I love the crack den, and I love my boyfriend, so in the end, it’s not that hard at all.
Hope this doesn’t sound too much like a bitching sesh.
Thank you for reading!
p.s. the featured pic is from this cool upside-down house on Brighton seafront. Very cool and only £4 on weekdays.